My motto - FTK

My motto in teaching is FTK (for the kids). I first heard Erin Thompson use this phrase in a meeting when she was trying to convince our very stubborn 7th grade staff to plan something special for the last day of school instead of going on our usual field trip to como zoo. She said "come on you guys I know the last day olympics would be more work... but it's for the kids". Since then, it is really something that has stuck for many of the young teachers in the building. The reason I use it so frequently is because kids are at the center of why I teach. I didn't become a middle school english teacher because I am super passionate about reading and writing. I am super passionate about kids! And giving them the skills to read and write well in our literate world.

We use this phrase as a way to call each other out when we are getting burned out or thinking about making decisions. Everything we do should be FTK and if it's not... whats the point?

Radical LEAP

When I was thinking about the qualities of LEAP the one that I personally think is the most important is to cultivate love. When I was reflecting on a leader that radiates love the person that kept popping into my head was Rita. Several times a year our school admin team plays us the same video of Rita Pierson talking about how kids need a champion. If you haven't seen it - here's a link! She really embraces this idea that all you have to do is love kids.

Unorthodox Teaching

The name of the best teacher I ever had was Mr. Bellat. He was a grade 9-12 math teacher at Apollo High School in St. Cloud, MN.

The most unorthodox behavior that made Mr. Bellat stand out was how he structured his class to differentiate for different needs. I hate math. It is just something that I have never been good at. Mr. Bellat structured his class like this: the first 15 minutes was a lesson for the entire class. He then gave us the homework and gave students the option to stay for the rest of class if they needed more help or they could leave and go do the homework on their own in the commons or library. Most of the students would choose to leave and there would be about 10 students left in the room. He would then really slow down and reteach the lesson for us and give us time to work on the homework with his help. He also would come into school early or stay late if you needed help. I don't think I ever saw him in his room without at least a couple of students trying to learn math, even on his prep. Mr. Bellat made me feel success in math for the first time in my life. I would do the extra lessons and ask questions and I would ace all of my math tests.

I would guess Mr. Bellat had the strength of a developer. He really did believe that every student could be successful in his classroom and not only did he believe it... he did whatever he needed to do to make sure that the students felt that success. When I see a student struggling to learn something in my classroom I think about how Mr. Bellat would have moved mountains for that student and I try to do the same.

Summer Stretch

I have so many thoughts and feelings around my summer stretch that it is hard to put everything into words. It's also a long story so I apologize about the long post.

I grew up in a Godless family. We never spoke about God or about religion or church it just wasn't something that my family did. I, as a learner, question everything and have always been curious about church and God but my social anxiety has really kept me out of that world. As someone who struggles with social anxiety walking into a place where I don't know anyone or know the norms and expectations causes me a lot of stress so even though I was curious I could never get myself to walk into a church. Fast forward to this year April, the social studies teacher on my team, Paul Johnson, walked into my classroom and invited me to the Easter service at his church. His two children, Dakota and Preston, where doing a cardboard testimonial and he looked me right in the face and said "I'd really like if you could be there". Now I was caught in the middle of being so nervous about entering a church for the first time and not wanting to be rude. He invited me and it would be rude not to show up, especially because I didn't have anything going that day. I drove to the church that day and I was thinking "okay I will just drive there and if I don't want to go in I can just leave". As I pulled in the parking lot there were people everywhere and I went to full on panic mode. I texted Erin as I was having this panic attack about not being able to get out of my car and she calmed me down, as she always does, and I got out of the car and walked into church for the first time. Had it not been for the parking lot attendants (I didn't want to leave, because they would judge me) and had it not been for Erin talking me through my panic attack... I would have never walked in the door. When I arrived to said door, Paul and his family were greeting and I could tell that it meant a lot to him that I was there. I selected a chair, in the back row near the door (incase I needed to run out of there) and sat down. The service started and there was a band and everyone started singing and worshipping with the band. I stood and observed and watched everyone singing. The message was heavy about Sin and forgiveness and how Jesus died for all of us. Then the cardboard testimonials happened where several members of the church got up and had their stories written on pieces of cardboard. There was no talking and many of these stories were heavy and I cried with these people. At the end of the service, the Pastor asked us all to bow our heads and in this prayer it was when I said my own personal yes to accept Jesus Christ as my savior. At the end of the service I went to the Pastor and shyly asked if he could lend me a Bible. He gave me a Bible and reading plan and as I walked out of the church that day I have never felt so free. All of the weight of my guilt, sin, and shame that I had unknowingly been carrying around left my shoulders as I walked out of the door that day.

My summer stretch is going to Church every Sunday, being involved with my small group, volunteering, and reading my Bible. Church is really hard for an introvert like me. There is a lot of touching and hugging and socializing with strangers which are all things I personally don't like. But each week as I continue to go to church and travel farther on my walk with Jesus I can feel my walls coming down... I can feel my anxiety getting smaller and it is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.

Adaptation - Learning to Let Go

This summer has been an exercise in adaptation but likely not how you think. In summers past, I have worked 70-80 hours a week as the general manager of Summerland Family Fun Park. Last year on top of managing the park, I also worked as a summer school teacher. Typically, I max out my summer by working every waking moment and making as much money as possible. This summer I have set a limit so I only work 40 hours a week. This leaves me with several days off per week in order for me to do homework and (*gasp*) have some free time. I have built this machine that is Summerland, I have trained all these employees and it is so fun to watch it all work! But this summer I am really putting my trust into what I have already done and letting them do their thing without me. So this summer is basically a trust exercise for me and letting go of some of my responsibilities. My employees are really stepping up in my absence and adapting to their new leadership roles. Overall, it is really hard for me to relinquish total control... but it has been such a positive change!

Introverts are cool and fun

I consider myself an 100% an introvert around adults. I get very overwhelmed by too much social interaction with my peers and relish quiet evenings at home by myself. I have really come to enjoy living by myself and don’t miss having a roommate at all. I sometimes can appear quiet or shy, but really, I like to rehearse my answers in my head before I share them with the large group, in order to ensure that the response I am giving is of quality and that I am able to clearly communicate my point. Often by the time I am ready to share the conversation has moved on. I often get annoyed when my time is wasted by people when they share things that are off topic, so I try really hard to make sure before I share something that it is relevant and will add to the discussion. 

In my classroom, I have several spaces where students can work alone instead of with a group. Because my classroom is assembled into pods I also have an individual desk, counters where students can stand and work.  I also allow students to spread out and have space in the hallway, inside my cupboards, or under my desk. Kids have a lot of freedom in my room to work in the way that they are the most comfortable. They can also wear headphones and listen to music during worktime which helps with the simulation of the middle school classroom. During small group discussions I often have students write their answers down before they share them in their groups to allow my introverts time to rehearse what they want to say. In the future, I want to work on increasing the amount of wait time when I ask student a question and I am waiting for a verbal answer during whole group discussions. Ellen brought this up at class the other day and I think it’s a great idea because I hear from the same set of students over and over again and this might allow for more of my students to answer.  

The Power of "Yet"

In my classroom, I stress the importance of growth mindset. We talk about how we don’t have all of the answers… yet. I allow all of my students to redo any assignments or tests because it doesn’t matter whether they learn the skills the first time or the 7^th time – what matters is that they learn.

I think this idea of growth mindset and the power of yet is harder to apply in my own personal life. I am a perfectionist that struggles when I screw up or don’t learn something the first time. However, preaching this mindset to my students has helped to start to change my own thinking. One of the biggest examples of how my mindset has changed is when it comes to dealing with my own mistakes. When I used to say or do something wrong I would circle on the mistake for a long time. There was no moving on – I would think and worry about it for weeks until finally, I would do something else wrong and begin the cycle over again. Recently, I was talking with a student who failed a math test and she was upset and in tears and we talked about how in the grand scheme of things… this one math test doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t dictate whether you are good person or not or whether you are going to college. It was that conversation that made me realize how petty I was being with my own mindset.

Ultimately, this is not something I am good at… yet. But I am working on it and will improve because I can do hard things.